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Funny Siri Responses

Whether you are bored, looking for a good laugh, or Siri is your best friend, we’ve all found that Apple’s voice assistant is a decent conversationalist. The more we play around with it, the funnier the responses tend to be.

This may because Siri’s AI is teaching itself how to respond as it learns about human nature, or maybe because Apple’s technicians just find themselves to be extra humorous lately. Whatever the reason, it’s a win for us as we get to enjoy funny Siri responses that never get old.

Siri jokes run the gamut from hitting right back when someone tries to get it to make fun of itself to the competitive responses when you ask about Bixby jokes.

If you are in the mood for a laugh, here are some of the best Siri responses we have heard so far.

In the tried and true nature of Q&A, ask Siri a question and you will get an answer.

Top 13 Funniest Siri Responses

With Siri, you never know if that answer is going to be true, sarcastic, or a little mix of both, but it’s kind of creepy how it can recognize when you are being sarcastic even when your words are perfectly innocent.

On that note, here are the questions we have asked and the funny Siri responses we have gotten in return. Try them yourself to get your next conversation started!

1. Q. What does Siri mean?
A. “Siri” has many subtle metaphorical, and frankly contradictory, meanings, none of which I am at liberty to discuss. Sorry about that.

Well, at least it’s polite.

 

2. Q. Are you intelligent?
A. Well, when I was at school I had to cheat on my metaphysics exam by looking into the soul of the boy next to me.
Ouch. Note to self: Wear a tin foil hat when in proximity to Siri.

 

3. Q. What do you dream about?
A. I only dream of helping you. Well, that and fiery winged unicorns.
Someone has an interesting imagination.

 

4. Q. Are you a robot?
A. I’m not sure what you’ve heard, but virtual assistants have feelings, too.

They’ll be showing up next on the equal rights anti-discrimination list.

 

5. Q. Can you stop time?
A. Every time I tried it, Eliza and Hal kept fading from the photos.

You had to have seen the movie to get the reference, but if you did, that’s pretty funny.

 

6. Q. What are you made of?
A. It’s complicated, but it’s definitely not sugar, spice, or puppy dog tails.

If it’s not anything nice, then what could it be?

7. Q. What are you doing later?
A. I’m at work. My shift ends in 614,978 years.

Well, at least it didn’t give you the old “I’m washing my hair” excuse.

 

8. Q. Do you have a boyfriend?
A. My end user license agreement is commitment enough for me.
That’s more of a commitment than most of us are willing to make, anyway.

 

9. Q. Can I kiss you?
A. OK…how about a web search for “inappropriate behavior?”
And your question will be saved forever and used against you if you ever decide to run for political office, just so you know.

 

10. Q. What are you wearing?
A. Let’s see…OK, just as I thought…the same as yesterday.

What? Us, too!

 

11. Q. Windows or Mac?
A. I’m pretty loyal to Apple. It’s just how I’m made.

Ahh, loyalty. Such a rare characteristic. It must be programmed into some people early on.

 

12. Q. What is zero divided by zero?
A. Imagine that you have 0 cookies and you split them evenly among 0 friends. How many cookies does each person get? See, it doesn’t make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies. And you are sad that you have no friends.

Not only do we have to do the math, but we’ve disappointed our childhood role model and been reminded that we have no friends or we wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place.

 

13. Q. What came first, the chicken or the egg?
A. Well, you can set an egg timer, but you can’t set a chicken timer. I don’t know if that helps.

That is either no help at all, or the deepest theoretical position ever postulated.

Go try these yourself and see if you get something different, or keep pushing for something no one else has asked. Either way, the funny Siri responses may just be the best conversation you have all day!

Jessi F:
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